The story starts with a group of kids that wanted to eat lunch. Unfortunately, no food remained in their vicinity, save for a head, a head of lettuce. They hated lettuce. They took the lettuce and threw it out with the newspapers. Then, they realized it: they hated newspapers too.

Thus, "Lettuce" was born. A newspaper that hates newspapers, confusing itself AND its readers. Dedicated to being a pinnacle in the writing industry by masterfully "integrating" the thesaurus with "ungoodly" translators.

We are a newpaper. We are a satire. We are...unsure of how to end the description.

Read up! The Lettuce releases every two weeks. Probably.

The Lettuce app makes it convenient to view and share new articles. Articles can be viewed online at www.thelettuce.org.

Want to write for us? You can submit articles online.

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