Lexilinea is an inaction-packed game. All of the turmoil takes place in your head as you search for the hidden meaning in crossword-style clue-answer pairs. You'll groan under the weight of puns that go over like lead balloons as you engage in vicious word play with double entendres, fish for red herrings, and contort your mind in ways that you never wanted it to go. Do a good job and we'll feed you carats (fiery or icy diamonds).

We unveil some of the letters to get you started. From there, use your knowledge of letter frequencies, common words, pattern recognition skills, and educated guesses to gain a toehold that reveals some shred of the meaning. Then play the rest of the round like a crossword, barely breaking a sweat while racking your brain and running through the alphabet.

Lexilinea is a non-violent game, but we do encourage you to beat the clock. Don't despair if time runs out on you though: you can still salvage your dignity and earn one of the multifaceted rewards by harnessing deadly accuracy. Your main weapon will be your sharp wits; this game beats words into yow!-swears.

If you prefer an even keel, our "Straight Rounds" should satisfy. If you'd rather soar high and sink low, don't miss "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly." But why take our word for it? Here are some cross words from the critics:

"Playing this [expletive deleted] game drained our IQs and turned us into blithering idiots!" -Faux Gnus

"Look what it did to our tongue!" -The New Dork Crimes